Life is a Pirate Ship Run by a Velociraptor Allison Hawn Craig Hart 9781512025774 Books
Download As PDF : Life is a Pirate Ship Run by a Velociraptor Allison Hawn Craig Hart 9781512025774 Books
Life is never boring when you’re a human magnet for the bizarre. For Allison Hawn, owning a cursed car, being attacked by a man wielding a foam sword, or having to battle an evil pony could manifest on any day ending in “y.” These truly hilarious tales provide both bookworms and casual glimpsers with important life lessons, such as what to do if a woman dressed as a cat refuses to get off the roof of your vehicle. You’re welcome.
Life is a Pirate Ship Run by a Velociraptor Allison Hawn Craig Hart 9781512025774 Books
Man, talk about the poetry of humour and maybe you'll touch the tip of the iceberg that is Allison Hawn. This is the first book of her's that I've read and I loved it. The situations are possibly real, the dialogues probably happened, but the insightfulness and the turn of words that the author has used to describe situations is incredibly funny. I am a a huge P.G. Wodehouse fan and this is as close to the wittiness that every other line in his book is made of. But unlike his stories which are complete fantasies, Allison Hawn takes real, day to day events and turns them into a parody.This is a book for days that you're feeling sad, or happy, feeling down or joyful, in short, for any day. It's a book to be kept by your bedside for a quick story to pep you up. I promise you that on your bluest days, it will still bring a smile to your lips. I am amazed by this author's talent and look forward to reading her other books. I salute you, Allison Hawn. Well done!
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Life is a Pirate Ship Run by a Velociraptor Allison Hawn Craig Hart 9781512025774 Books Reviews
This is a fun and funny book that grabs you from the very first page. Lots of great vignettes that convey the author's ability to roll with the punches [or sloppy kisses] doled out by an absurd universe. Having spent plenty of time, myself, in the low-probability-events zone, I can fully appreciate the author's clever chronicle of bizarre moments. You just never know when the laws of the universe will be broken and your spayed cat will pop out a 'pile of kittens,' a lab rat will develop super powers, or you get roped in to babysitting 8 year-old twins from hell. That the author has had the presence of mind to archive, document, and share these moments with us is a testament to her own resilience and sense of humor. A well-written, entertaining book that you should have on hand after one of those days at the office, on the road, in a line at the grocery store, trying to talk sense into a teenager or your boss... Five stars!
I Couldn’t Catch My Breath!
To say this collection of events in the life of author Allison Hawn is funny, would be, to use a hackneyed phrase, the understatement of the century. This woman is a magnet for all things wacky, hilarious, gross, and unusual. Although a number of these events occur during her job as a social worker, her ‘magnet for all things weird’ doesn’t turn off during her personal life. Her ordinary day is a once in a lifetime event for most of us.
The summation at the end of each chapter adds to the fun while reading this book. The writer’s style is witty and engaging. I’m giggling as I write this review.
Here is a quote “If someone on the radio is offering something, like free gas, to a limited number of people, you should calculate how long it is going to take you to get to the location. If the answer is, “longer than it takes to blow up a balloon for a mouse,” don’t even bother.”
This book is hilarious, not only for the stories told, but also for the visuals the author creates while describing what's happening. For example, she doesn't say a woman crammed herself into a tiny swimsuit. No. She says "the extremely overweight woman who has crammed herself into a one-piece swimsuit made for a Chihuahua." All right! That image gives me the creeps. The entire book is filled with such vivid imagery.
The stories run the gamut of life childhood, college, animals, co-workers, drunks, and so much more. I can easily relate to many of these anecdotes, so I must be one of those people who is a magnet for strange happenings.
One of my favorite parts of each chapter was the summaries, or lessons learned, at the end. "Don’t try to cage the velociraptor, it will only come back to bite you in the end. Sometimes literally."
Now you just HAVE to read the book to understand what THAT is all about.
Allison Hawn knows how to tell a tale. This is the second book I have read of hers and it was, if anything, even more entertaining than the first. The writing is so personable. She doesn’t only write about her observations, conversations, and memories, she lives them with gay abandon, in the most natural way.
Her anecdotes and one liners are side splitting. It is rare for me to actually laugh out loud whilst reading and I have to say, I wish all books on human interaction were so naked and honest.
The book is a great insight into people; real people, warts and all. Allison Hawn has managed to convince me that she is not only a humorist but a talented author, who is very capable of bringing her wit to the page, and at the same time make me feel as though I am watching her on stage. Hilarious, absolutely hilarious stuff!
Allison Hawn is something rare a natural humorist with a sharp eye for the human condition. Her work is fast-pace, insightful, and sure to make you laugh aloud. This review is for "Life is a Pirate Ship Run by a Velociraptor"... and she's convinced me every word she says is true.
"Life is a Pirate Ship Run by a Velociraptor" is a second book of short fiction by Hawn in this inimitable vein. The first was"Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus." In these days where hatred is the number one spectator sport, a writer such as Hawn is a necessary antidote to the sociopathy around us. Her work is weird, wonderful individualistic. Yes, I said that this book isn't trying to please all seven billion of us who purport to read. By not doing so, Hawn has an individual voice to be treasured as she chronicles events and folk in her compendium of laugh-inducing stories.
From one liners to iconoclastic morality to asymptotic truisms, Hawn has them all.
Do yourself a favor rad this book, then get its precursor, then order in a stock of them for holiday giving. No better gift can be imagined than the gift of perspective mixed with laughter.
Five stars, any day.
Man, talk about the poetry of humour and maybe you'll touch the tip of the iceberg that is Allison Hawn. This is the first book of her's that I've read and I loved it. The situations are possibly real, the dialogues probably happened, but the insightfulness and the turn of words that the author has used to describe situations is incredibly funny. I am a a huge P.G. Wodehouse fan and this is as close to the wittiness that every other line in his book is made of. But unlike his stories which are complete fantasies, Allison Hawn takes real, day to day events and turns them into a parody.
This is a book for days that you're feeling sad, or happy, feeling down or joyful, in short, for any day. It's a book to be kept by your bedside for a quick story to pep you up. I promise you that on your bluest days, it will still bring a smile to your lips. I am amazed by this author's talent and look forward to reading her other books. I salute you, Allison Hawn. Well done!
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